Glitter Turd the pathetic #1

I left and went no contact 12/26/2020. I was terrified,sad, and depressed. The up side I had a couple good friends that rented me a place. In planning/ preparing for a quick grab my bag and run, I had stashed a bag of clothes, and it was needed. I had my 2 dogs Molly and Bear they kept me together for months always thankful for these Angels most days the first couple months they were the only reason I could force myself out of bed.

It was a few weeks perhaps after my stepfather died. ( His loss was devastating to myself and my children especially my son H.) That Super Shiny Glitter Covered Shit ( let’s say GS he’s not worth the time typing) Stood in the dining room, big evil grin that I’ve seen many times, looked at me smiling so big GS said giggling ” You wait I’m going to make sure you loose everything you love, you will never see your kids when I’m done.” Chugged the rest of his beer and went outside. I just sat shocked trying to understand what brought this on, was he joking? No he couldn’t be serious so far it was a good day, he’s just messing with me. ( Oh you stupid woman).

Approximately 2 weeks later it’s 2-3 am I feel his knee slam on my back it knocked the wind out of me, he’s pulling my hair with one hand and punching me repeatedly in the head with the other. While he’s using my head for a speed bag he’s shouting in what I can only describe as a evil growl “stop attacking me stop attacking me” this is going on for what seems Hours. My youngest son K. (8) Is now standing in the door scared GS won’t stop. K. Wakes his big brother H. Crying saying “he’s killing mom.” GS continues beating my head.( Over the years I’ve had far too many concussions to count from this wonderful man no proof he assaulted me I’m crazy). My oldest son H. (13) Comes to the door GS is still in a frenzy, “screaming stop attacking me!” H is shouting get off my mom several times GS stops briefly says your mom is attacking me, and then starts again. H. Has had enough lil K is terrified looking for a phone. H runs jumps on the bed and tries to stop GS. Who is now trying to attack my son. I am finally able to move trying to get H away from him. After another brief struggle I get the boys settled and back to bed. GS is passed out again. Thank God it’s over no one hurt. Everyone is quiet and drifting off I’m sitting on the edge of the sofa trying to grasp what the hell just happened. The nausea hits most definitely another concussion, I’m in the bathroom vomiting for several minutes. I wash up go find some Tylenol and get a glass of water. I’m at the kitchen sink when he comes flying into the kitchen another rage, somehow I was able to calm that quickly by agreeing to go back in the bed with him.

By now the anxiety is getting out of hand and he’s mad I can stop shaking. I roll on my side back to him head burried under a pillow. I drift off finally my head hurts so bad. At some point I wake up to GS tripping over a lamp, drunk sleep walking yay! Able to get him turned around and heading to the bathroom with little incident. I’m back in bed head burried, when I feel him grab my ankles and Rip me out of bed threw me on the floor kicking me in the head and ribs. I’m trying to be quiet I don’t want the boys to wake up. He’s now ripping my shirt off me and he’s dragging me twords the bathroom by my hair, with a hatchet in his other hand. I realize what he’s is doing and I’m struggling to get away but quietly afraid if the boys wake again what he will do to them. He is dragging me in the bathroom, my head smashing on the door, toilet, and tub. He stops wraps my hair around his hand a couple times and pulls me off the floor to standing my my hair my head is bleeding I now have a bald spot about the size of a golf ball I’m crying begging him to stop I will get the kids up and leave now. He tells me everyone hates me even my kids they all want me dead I’m a whore the worst mother ever, blah blah blah he yells the same string of vile word vomit many times a day. I’m scared certain this is the day praying my kids are going to be safe please God save my babies. Smash head first he shoved me into the tub. I’m scrambling to try and get up and can’t sit up the pain in my chest. (Broken sternum #2). He grabs the hatchet and swings it at me in the tub. Praying still this is it I about to die. Watch my babies. He missed me hit the side of the tub! Adrenaline is moving now I manage to get out of the tub, bathroom door opens it’s H. He does what a 13 yr old can against a man that is a roofer, using his football tackle he learned that week he gets GS out of the way so I can get out of the bathroom. Lil K my clever boy gets the hatchet and hides it. K. Is looking again frantically for a phone. No phone can be found. (Phones always seem to be missing on the nights like this, makes it really hard to believe he was drunk and didn’t know what he was doing). I am struggling to get GS off of H he’s hitting my baby chocking him and still screaming “stop attacking me”. My lil K. Has had enough he runs to the front door to go ask the neighbor upstairs to call for help. Sweet boy. I get H away from GS send him out the door to go with K. GS is even more enraged trying to go out the door after them. I’m standing in front of the door trying to stop him, he grabs me by the waist and tosses me across the room. I grab a blanket off the chair to cover my self and follow him, I get to the neighbors door he has H on the ground in a choke hold. I’m trying to peel his fingers from my babies neck, GS is still shouting “stop attacking me” while he is sitting on top of my son choking him in the neighbors doorway. On the front porch of our house. K comes downstairs with the neighbor who refused to call for help. ( Still makes me sick but GS is a master manipulator and why he’s screams “stop attacking” me so no one will call for help) K and I are trying to get GS off of H neck and chest this neighbor comes down and starts yelling at my child turning purple while a grown man is choking him this old cunt yes I mean cunt starts hitting my child with a newspaper while he is being choked! Sickening! God is awesome yet again this night was the first night for a new very Christian family next door they call for help. The police come on the porch GS is still on top of H. At least he’s now holding his shoulders down he can breathe, I can breathe. Oh silly woman you thought the police were going to see that GS was the aggressive one? (Well a lil info on me I am a 6’2 large framed woman) As the police are walking up to GS this old vile bitch starts crying “oh my poor GS shes always hurting you”. Looks at me and “tells me to stop abusing him he’s a wonderful boy!” Yup the 80 yr old shriveled cunt had a crush we knew she would plaster the make up and use a bottle of perfume to ask Mr Good boy to change a lightbulb or some trivial nonsense the he would deny her and tell her he would make me do it! Yuck that bitch still pisses me off gonna watch a 40 yr old man choke a child and blame the kid. I’m speaking to one officer inside with lil K, H is speaking to an officer on the porch GS is with another in the driveway. While old musty wench is yelling “they were beating him I heard it she’s always beating him.” Seems the senile wench tried to make herself an eyewitness but had not a clue what happened and looked like a fool. But it was all for the sweet GS. They boys and I told the same series of events, GS used his old fall back I was sleeping I woke up to them hitting me. ( Over the years this is his only excuse I was sleeping, and then one day I see what he was reading online. How to make chloroform, best way to hide a body, ahh yes can I be convicted if I kill someone in my sleep.) So they gave GS a violation for beating on me had no choice but to charge him with a misdemeanor for H he had bruises on his neck and his eye had a goose egg. For actually beating the shit out of me while I slept harassment, for H because he is under 18 endangering the welfare of a child and obstruction of breathing. Gave him tickets and sent him back in the house with us and left. Less than 10 minutes later they were called back. Yet again he ripped my clothes off me drug me to the bedroom and kicked me in the head,back, ribs until the police came in the house again. By this time is 330 am the police tell me to get a bag packed and leave with my children! We have no car no family no where to go. Again the good Lord blessed me with amazing friends who heard the second police call and came to the house. They took me and my kids in for several weeks. We had nothing no money and 2 changes of clothes. We were all safe a little lumped up bruised and sore but safe for now. I was able to get money together and get a small place for us. I was stupid enough to believe he was out of our life for good. Hahaha silly girl he had years of work he put in destroying me from the inside out, it’s not going to be that easy.

These last seven months have been difficult so many odd random situations coming my way. I am fortunate I have a safe space for now, I’ve been able to think clearly and understand why I would put up with such violence. I wasn’t blessed with a loving or caring mother. My earliest memory is my mother telling me she hated me and beating me with a vacuum. She still does I don’t understand why it is what it is. I’m not trying to blame her. I’m a grown woman and this is all a result of my very bad choices. I do think being raised as the whipping post made me the perfect woman for men like this violence has always been normal for me.

About a month ago GS did it again. He had taken my dogs my fury Angels. He refused to give them back if I set a day to come he will call and start a fight and threaten to kill me beat me make me disappear. Last Friday he called said I could have them back but I had to give him my address and if I went anywhere I had to notify him first! My response was it’s none of your business where I am.

About midnight last night while chatting with a friend I finally felt the black evil stain he left on my soul lift. I felt genuinely happy for the first time in at least 12 years and it was all thanks to that Glitter Covered Shit. So many years he accused me of being a whore being back on heroin (opiate free since2004) and he actually tried on a daily basis to take that away from me. So many times I would look at him dipped out a drug dip is very different from I’m tired. I would mention it and get beat and told I was a whore. My happiest moment was when my gut was yet again spot onto this low life. Not only is he an abusive drunk but he will do any drug you put near him. The moment that made me happiest. Good Christian Boy that Pretends to “prophesize” I m sure he puts on a great show he is faker than plastic. Not only is he banging a married woman that stole from her disabled alcoholic side piece but she’s a needle using junkie cum dumpster for the most disgusting needle users in town😊 It would appear that Glitter may wash off that shit soon. How does it feel Mr. “God loves me most” you had to steal your used up cum dumpster from the bottom of the barrel of toxic waste. You really are the lowest form of filth! I know I shouldn’t take joy in his impending fall, but as you read more of my blogs you will see he deserves all that is coming his way. I want to thank him out entire relationship he never did one thing to try and bring me joy (unless he just slid off a whore then I would get a flower haha) It makes me happy you and dumpster found each other I think she is the one for you. You should definitely take her to meet the family this weekend I’m sure mommy will love it! I’m still smiling thank you for my joy. Stop trying to contact me, I get all the put downs you always accused me of doing the dirty you actually did. So yea I have always been too good for you. Glitter Shit I pray every day your just deserts come in. Seems they are coming.

It’s been almost 15 years according to Mr. Perfect he’s never wrong. He was completely justified when he fractured my right eye socket 7 years ago, honestly who do I think I am walking near my dog. I can still feel his knee smashing into my face as I was on the floor where he threw me. The sound my bones made as they were crushed, when he finally let me up I ran to the bathroom to try and clean myself up, that’s when I realized my eye was actually popping out. I was shocked scared and yet again defeated by a self important drunk. After about an hour of begging promising to say I hurt myself I was allowed to call a friend for a ride to the ER. My friend J came of Mr. Perfect insisted on going drunk like always on the way to the hospital he told J he needed to stop at the store quick. After about 10 minutes he came out with yet another 12 ok of beer, yea my eye is bulging out of my face and he needs beer for the ER. He stashed his beer in the bushes outside the ER door, came in while I checked in needs to make sure he isn’t to blame. I tell them I tripped and fell on my face while taking my dog out. He stands behind me laughing saying yeah she’s always hurting herself. After I’m taken to the exam room and they have done initial check, he ducks out to go chug a beer probably 2. It’s been about 30 minutes he comes in just about the same time as the doctor. The doctor was asking what happened Mr. P starts telling him how I am always falling or walking into things and injuring myself. Doctor is looking at me and asked what happens tells Mr. P I need to answer of course I give the I took my dog out and tripped and landed on my face, I feel like an idiot, I’m sure he doesn’t really believe me. Doctor says I need x-ray and MRI someone will be back to get me. Doctor leaves room Mr. P tells me I’m a stupid fucking retard and goes outside for another beer. After about 20 min he’s back to check on me. Hahaha in reality wants to make sure I keep my mouth shut.
They come to take me for MRI, the x-ray tech that came to get me says oh my goodness what happened, Mr. P immediately tells her how I’m clumsy and can’t stand up with out hurting myself and laughing about it, I say nothing I’m embarrassed and humiliated. Just the way he likes it. He starts to follow me to the x-ray area and is told he can’t come. Puts a show on gives me a kiss on my forehead and says I’m going to go outside for a smoke I’ll be right back. (Reality to chug more beer) after x-ray and MRI I’ve been gone about 40 minutes I’m back in exam room he’s sent many text am I done yet he doesn’t have time for this shit. Tell him I’m back says he will be right there. The doctor comes back in tells me my eyes socket and cheek bone are crushed I need to be sent to SMH and he’s already called medical transport. Mr. P comes in as the doctor is telling me I will probably need surgery. Mr. P is pissed asked the doctor if I could wait and go to rochester tomorrow, doctor said no this is a serious injury and medical transport is in the way. Doctor leaves Mr. P is complaining I’m wasting his time I should learn how to fucking walk so I wouldn’t fuck myself up all the time. Of course I’m crying, again hummuliated his favorite. He tells me he’s going outside. Beer time.
It’s been about 45 min medical transport is here to take me to rochester. Mr. P is still gone, as they are putting me in the ambulance he appears. Says oh it’s time already, asked the EMT to give him a minute he needs to get his stuff they agree. He comes back carrying what’s left of his 12 pack and got in the ambulance. EMT tells him he can’t bring beer with him. Mr. P doesn’t understand says only 4 left they aren’t open, EMT says no beer. So Mr. P says ok give me a minute to put this somewhere. It’s been about 5 minutes we are still waiting, EMT says sorry we need to go and we start to pull out. Mr. P appears at the exit with an open beer in hand of course. Chugs what he has left and complaining we were going to leave him. EMT tells him I need to get to SMH my injury is serious. He gets in the ambulance and we head out. He starts tell EMT how I’m always fucking myself up I can’t do anything without hurting myself laughing at me. Again hummuliated. Starts telling them about other injuries I’ve “cause myself” laughing he says I look like I went a few rounds with Mike Tyson. Yup there it is humiliation. He loves making me look like an incompetent fool.
It’s a 90 min drive we finally get to SMH. I’m taken to an exam area when nurse leaves he starts I’m a stupid fucking whore, he’s wasting a whole day he has better things to do, I need to learn to walk. I realized at this point he actually believes the I fell? No he doesn’t but I need to believe it. I’ve had to tell the stupid story about 10 times by now. I don’t think anyone really believes I tripped and fell but I’m trying. The specialist comes in looks at me looks at Mr.P says wow this is a serious injury what happened? I give him the story. He looks a Mr. P looks at me and says this didn’t happen from a fall, the x-ray and MRI makes it look like your face was crushed my something. I’m crying saying no I fell. Humiliation. Doctor tells Mr. P to step out he needs to examine me, Mr. P isn’t happy wants to stay and was asked to step outside. The doctor is looking at my eye pulls up my x-ray and says he knows Mr. P did this. I’m crying still trying to convince him it was my fault. Doctor isn’t convinced but let’s it go. Tells me not only is the orbital broken as well as cheek but nerve damage is apparent. I will need surgery it will have to wait until the swelling subsides. Tells me Mr. P is going to kill me and I was lucky today wasn’t the day. Humiliation, seems to be my BFF. Doc patches my eye gives me meds and tells me he wants me to rest awhile and think. He tells me this is a major injury, Mr. P and his giggle about how I did it to myself is unnerving. Doctor says that man will kill you. I’m still going with the story. Doctor says rest for a bit, I’ll be back and leaves.
I’m laying there, tears won’t stop and it’s pissing me off I’m pissing myself off. I can’t even blow my nose because it will pop my eye out again. The drugs I was given are making me drowsy, I’m falling asleep but not real sleep I just want to go home and hide from the world. I keep asking myself why I protect him, thinking about all the injuries he’s caused me and broken ribs too many times to count concussions at least 3 per year broken shoulder, collar bone, elbow all broken, all with the I fell or I walked into stories. Realizing Mr.P has never apologized how could he why would he, I did it to myself. I fall asleep. When I wake up Mr.P is standing there the alcohol is wearing off and he is pissed he had to leave his beer for this bullshit, why did the doctor make him leave what did I tell him, I must be fucking him because I’m a lying whore. The tears start again it’s pissing me off. He was loud nursing staff called security they came in asked if I needed anything told them no everything is good. They tell Mr.P to keep it down. He chuckled tells them he’s sorry it won’t happen again. I’m thinking wow he knows that word? (Sorry).
It’s been a few hours they discharge me. We are almost 2 hours from home with no transportation. He calls his mother who works in the area. She will come pick us up and take us home. Impending doom that was the feeling knowing I would be trapped in a car for that long with the 2 of them.
Outside the hospital waiting for his mother, he’s been several hours with no alcohol he’s pissed telling me I need to be more careful he’s sick of this shit, I should be thankful he puts up with my shit. She’s finally here to get us. Asked what happened tells her the I fell story but with tons of insults I’m stupid, clumsy, can’t do anything right, I should learn to fucking listen. For 2 hours they are cracking jokes about me almost taking my eye out. Humiliation yet again.
I’m sitting in the back trying to ignore the shitty comments (his mother is far worse than he). Thinking about why I allow this to happen. I know why, my earliest memories are being beaten I have been groomed for this since birth. I’m nothing more than a punching bag. I know this isn’t true no one deserves this, but I can’t walk away. On some level I believe everything he says, but I know it isn’t true. Yet here I am. If I know why I tolerate the nonstop verbal and escalating violence, why can’t I leave. This is the mind fucking of a narcissist.